An Impossible Situation
by rachel-jessica-evans
Summary: Teddy Lupin is my best friend. Danielle Parker is my best friend and dream woman. She's not into me, she's into Teddy. What the hell do I do?
1. Chapter 1

**Fifth Year at Hogwarts – **

**Chapter One – The perfect prefect **

Hello, my name is Jonny Swift. That's Jonny. Not John, Not Jonathan (unless your my mum) it's just Jonny. I'm 15 years old and currently waiting to enter my fifth year at no other than Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. How exciting? Well not really the excitement pretty much disappears after the third year. Funnily enough that's around the time puberty starts – anyway – as I said I'm Jonny. I'm the eldest of four.

The next eldest are twins. Nathan and Louise (Lou as we call her). They are 14 and entering their fourth year. Our dad was called Ray Bonnie and he died in the Battle of Hogwarts fighting for what was right and good. It was tough on me, Louise and Nathan growing up without a father but we learnt that you can find father figures elsewhere. My mother, a muggle born, re-married to my father's best friend Gregory Swift. Hence the last name Swift. I thought of keeping my dad's name but "Jonny Bonnie" sounds stupid. My mother (real name Anne) and Gregory had another child, now aged 11 and starting his first year at Hoggies. He's called Daniel

My mother was a muggle born and had been captured by Death Eaters during the second wizarding war and we didn't see her again until it was over; instead we were put safely in the hands of our muggle grandparents until the end of the war. You-know-who could have found us but he had a lighting scared teen to kill so, you know priorities and that. My best friend in the world was Teddy Lupin. He was in the same year and dorm as me in Hogwarts. Gryffindor. Best house going and if little Daniel doesn't get in he's being left in the forbidden forest by me personally

Well, I say Teddy is my best friend; he's not really that honour goes to Danielle Parker. We met in the first year after she annoyed me in Charms and I set the feather she was levitating on fire. Good times. Anyway after a week's detention from Fliwtick we both bonded cleaning cauldrons and from then on we confided everything to eachother. From me complaining about the amount of girls chasing me (no word of a lie; there were loads) and her going on about how many lads wanted her. We could never go further than friendship. We love eachother yes, but in a best friend way. Danielle was a muggle-born so being friends with her and having various muggle relatives meant that me, Nathan, Louise and Daniel were very in tune with muggle ways and customs

Other than Teddy and Danielle there was Lee Jones. He was a bit dim and thick but one hell of a quidditch player. Unlike me and Teddy neither of Lee's parents perished in the Battle of Hogwarts (poor Teddy, both of his did) but never the less they were well respected for their contribution to the defeat of you-know-who (don't think I'm a wuss. I know his name was Voldermort I just like pronouncing you-know-who)

Anyway less of them and more of me. As I've said I'm very popular with the girls. I have brown hair and green eyes. I have quite a broad build and I'm quite toned thanks to being a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I have a permanent scar from falling from a broomstick in the first year (The scar is the reason I'm the next Harry Potter I'm sure of it). That hurt like hell and tries spending three weeks in St. Mungo's with a batty Gilderoy Lockhart on your ward going on about some bullshit. Best class for me would be Defence against the Dark Arts. I love it and this year we are learning the three unforgiveable curses. I wasn't planning on killing anyone but seeing some under my control and then in intense pain should be quite fun. Worst class I hear you ask? Divination! Why the fuck did I take that shit? I've been on the Quidditch team with Lee since the second year and was delighted this year when I heard Lee had been made Quidditch captain

Lee was thick though so I'll probobaly wind up doing most of it. Not that I mind; I'd quite liked to have had that captaincy but Lee was a damn good seeker

My biggest shock of the summer, being made a prefect! What the hell was headmistress McGonagall thinking? I, Lee and Teddy had been nothing but trouble for her for half a decade and she seriously wants to put a prat like me in a position of power. Oh well, on her head be it. I was sure that Nigel Green would be made prefect. He was a snotty and geeky as they come and a bit of a twat as well. He looked down on everyone else because he was by far the brightest but seeing him try to fly in the first year was hilarious. Then again I fell over 50 ft and spent a month in hospital so he probobaly won that one

Other people in my year included:

Evan Horton: Nice lad. Bitter because he should have been in Ravenclaw with his twin brother Sam. Got on OK with him but wouldn't say we were mates. He also dated Danielle for a little while

Amy Martin: Thick as they come. Thicker than Lee almost. Danielle hated her with a passion; infact she hated nearly all the girls which is why she hangs around with Lee, Teddy and I

Gabby Johnson: If it walks like a slut, talks like a slut and sleeps about like a slut. Yeah, she's a slut. A fit slut though – I don't think you could be a slut if you were ugly? How many times am I going to say slut today?

Chloe Billings: Geek. Should be with Nigel. I hope to god she hasn't been made a prefect as well; she's had a crush (obsession) with me since day one and she smells like really bad

Hilda Alexander: Yes. There are people out there still called Hilda. She likes to keep herself to herself does Hilda. Never says much; kind of wierd. Intelligent though; maybe even more so than Nigel

"Jonny" mum called up the stairs at 9.45am on the morning of 1st September. "Jonny! Get up now".

Go away mum

"Jonny, get your fat arse down here now" bellowed Gregg

Go away Gregg

"JONNY!" they both scream at the top of their lungs

I awoke. Maybe the house was on fire? No, I'd know what with smoke inhalation and the like. Lou was dead? Na, I'm not that lucky. Was gran here? Why would gran be here?

"Jonny you do know what day it is" shouted Gregg "Do not make me come up there you little shit"

"It's Tuesday" I said slowly. I looked at my calender; it was on August and August 31st was yesterday!

Oh shit

Luckily mum never trusted me to pack my own stuff. I don't know why it wasn't like I was going to take any fireworks – though that's an idea to consider in the future – I got up and dressed like that. I'm aware you can't see me snapping my fingers but that's how quick I got fast. Running down stairs and completely buy passing the final flight with a (rather awesome) jump I ran into the car

"You're late" said Lou as she buckled her seatbelt in and petting her cat; Toyah. I hated that cat and it hated me. It was evil; like actually evil. I don't know how a cat could be so evil probobaly spending so much time with Lou.

Nathan and Daniel were in the boot. Daniel was ALREADY in his Hogwarts robes. The wierd little geek; he better not be a geek. If he was a geek he'd be in Hufflepuff and I was not having that. I quite liked travelling in Muggle cars maybe it's because I grew up surrounded by them. Teddy's sort of uncle Ron Weasley once stole his father's flying car to rescue Teddy's other-sort-of-uncle Harry Potter from his bedroom prison. No I don't know why I mentioned that either; my mind was thinking about cars

Arriving at King's Cross and 10:33am – Gregg never rounded up time he just gave you it exactly – we ran to the location of platform 9 ¾ when I spotted two hot muggle girls looking at my owl Brian (I'm not very imaginative) and looking confused

"I run an owlary" I called over to them. They both blushed and began giggling. I had the effect on women. Gregg grabbed me by the collar

"Behave this term or I will personally use Crucio on you" he said as we ran into the platform where the Hogwarts express was waiting to take off. I looked at the great big steam train and wondered when the Wizarding world would get with the times and just use an electric one. I spotted Danielle climbing onto the train. Bidding farewell to my parents and siblings I rushed after her. Danielle was very pretty; in the first year she had massive buck teeth but she managed to shrink them after a bludger knocked her teeth out and Madam Pomfrey grew them back. Now aged 15 Danielle was especially beautiful and I could say that with not fancying her because it would be near incest

Danielle had long blonde hair and had come back to school with some blue highlights in them. It sounds corny but they really worked and brought out her lovely green eyes. I'm not attracted to her though, that would be wierd right? Anyway I tapped her on the shoulder. She looked delighted at the sight of me and pulled me into a massive embrace

"Have you been working out" she said prodding my rock solid left arm with her finger

"A bit" I answered "Have you heard Lee's been made Quidditch Captain"

"Yeah I'm so pleased for him" she said beaming "I'm so pleased for you as well; prefect"

My heart fell

"You're not one then" I said trying to not look dissapointed. In my mind I had envisioned us walking the dark corridors of Hogwarts late at night talking about nothing as per usual.

"No, I'm really sorry" she said taking my hand. Was she blushing? "But I'm sure whoever it is isn't that bad". I bidded farewell to Danielle who went to find Lee and Teddy and I made my way to the prefects carriage hoping that Billings was not a perfect as well. If it was Gabby she was at least a laugh and I could maybe get shagged out of it; if it was Amy at least I could laugh at some of the stupid things she comes out and if it was Hilda I could learn more about her

If it was Billings on the other hand I would have nights of patrolling corridors with her feeling my biceps, or telling me how handsome I looked in the dark (she'd told me that once before; how the fuck could she see) and last but not least she could get the deluded idea that I fancied her. I didn't. I deffinately didn't.

I groaned

There she was in the prefect carriage; Billings. Sighing before I went in and for some reason I closed my eyes. Upon entering my ego was somewhat boosted even if I did say so myself I was by far and away the best looking in the room. Oh no, there was Hayley Cross – head girl - Ravenclaw. Stunning and beautiful and this was coming from a horny teenager who only described girls as "fit" or "shaggable" but you couldn't say that about Hayley she was far too classy. She gave me a smile and rolled her eyes as the pompous head boy began his speech

Billings looked elated I had been made a prefect and already had hold of my arm. I caught Hayley's eye and we both had to hide a giggle as Eamon Cliff – the head boy – puffed his chest out and talked about how to discipline. Hayley was pretty cool but all the others were the squarest bunch of people ever

I couldn't have felt any worse until the door opened once again. A nasty looking Slytherin boy in my year called Lewis Seddon had been made prefect. If I thought Nigel was a bit of a twat at times than my term to describe Seddon fell under a word I would rather not say. Drifting off and looking outside the window I sighed

"What a great way to start the year" I whispered to myself longing to be in the carriage carrying my three best friends


	2. Arrival at Hogwarts

**Chapter Two**

Same old boring lake. Same old boring mountains. Same old boring fields. The trip to Hogwarts surely was a boring one especially when Eamon had been droning on about nothing for well over an hour. At first I thought being a prefect would be a lot of fun but how wrong I was. Or maybe it would be fun; I don't know I hadn't been listening for over half an hour. Billings was taking in every word as were the Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin prefects even Seddon. Hayley looked just as bored as me though at least she could stare at her own reflection for a few hours.

I gently removed Billings arm from mine smiling politely as I didn't want to upset her, she may freak me out and yes I'm a prat but I'm not a complete knob. She shot me an angry look raising my eyebrows I leaned back against the window as Eamon came to "Section 2, Point 7". Who had made this self-loving idiot head boy and why couldn't Hayley get a word in. Before I knew it my eyes were shutting and I fell asleep

"Jonny" whispered a soft angelic voice a bit later "Jonny, wake up, shit are you dead"? It was Hayley. I smiled to myself. She smelt absolutely gorgeous.

"Not dead" I grumbled "Just sleepy" I said rubbing my eyes as I woke up and made a childish yawn. I opened them to see Hayley sitting opposite me with a kind smile on her face. I looked to my side and saw two of her friends. I felt really embarrassed having just acted like a complete baby infront of three extremely fit seventh years

"Awww you're so sweet" said Hayley "I didn't want to wake you but we're nearly at Hogwarts". Panicking I looked down at my attire and realised I was still wearing the blue hoodie and jeans I had hurriedly put on that morning. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and my hair was an absolute mess. Now beyond embarrassed I mumbled "thanks" at Hayley and ran down the aisles looking for Danielle who I'd given my possession too. I felt mortified I was usually really cool and confident when it came to girls but that was very embarrassing

I eventually found my friends and quickly got changed into my robes despite them all watching me get undressed. I suddenly realised how starving I was

"It'll be the great feast soon" said Teddy as I sat down next to him following the re-uniting conversation we had.

"Yeah but we've got the sorting before that and it takes ages" I whined rubbing my stomach which was rumbling. Due to my late start I had forgotten to eat breakfast that morning meaning I hadn't eaten for about 50 hours as I was ill the day before last and hadn't eaten a thing. I looked at Danielle pleadingly

"Jonny. I don't have anything" she said with a smile on her face. She came over and sat next to me affectionately rubbing my hair. I moaned and put my head on her shoulder

"And I've got to take first years to the common room" I continued. I could feel a rant coming on; probobaly down to me not talking for over four hours "Oh and guess who else has been made a prefect"

"Chloe Billings" said Danielle, Lee and Teddy all at the same time. I laughed along with them. To make matters worse it was pouring it down with rain as it did every time we arrived at Hogwarts. I sighed and picked up Brian the owl before following Danielle, Lee and Teddy from the train onto the platform

"Where the hell have you lot been" exclaimed Billy Walker the youngest member of our group "I've been forced to sit with fourth years"

"If you were born three days later you'd be a fourth year" said Lee as he stretched his arm hitting a first year on the head "Don't cry" he shouted after the young girl

I was so starving it was ridiculous; Teddy seemed quite concerned as well. He fished around in his pockets but couldn't find anything

"Don't worry Teds I can wait" I said as Teddy began opening his bags in the middle of the rain and crowds of feral children

"I swear I had another chocolate frog in here" said Teddy

"Ted honestly I can wait" I said. I was now more freezing than hungry we had been stood still in the pouring Scottish rain for about 10 minutes

"No" said Teddy "I know what you're like when your two hungry. You faint"

"One time" I said "And that may also have been because genius over their whacked a bludger at my head half an hour before"

"I said catch" Lee argued back. Billy and Danielle were laughing their heads off. Danielle stomped her foot and said "Right c'mon we're going. If Jonny faints on the way Lee and Teddy carry him to school"

That's why I love Danielle. Riding in a carriage pulled by Chestrals – I couldn't see one; I had been fortunate enough not to see anyone die – the rain turned into hale. I hated hail storms. I then suddenly remembered Daniel was soon to be sorted and I cast my mind to that

"I just don't think he's much of a Gryffindor" I explained "More like a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw at a stretch. It wouldn't be a disaster if he was sorted into them but if he ends up in Slytherin I'll personally burn the sorting hat"

"Again" coughed Danielle under her breath. Looking at her I realised my baby brother was called Daniel and my best mate was called Danielle. How confusing. Finally arriving at the great hall I had to walk to the end of the table to sit with the other prefects

And guess who had saved a seat for me. Billings. Maybe I shouldn't have been as polite when I removed her arm from mine on the train. She's probobaly got the wrong idea now. I looked to my left and saw Nigel Green eying me with envy. He knew and I knew that he should be the one sat up here with the prefects

Professor McGonagall stood up and began making her speech; I had never personally met Albus Dumbledore, except once when I was 6 months old but I wasn't going to remember that was I?, but even I could tell McGonagall was no Dumbledore. She was great there was no doubt but I don't think she connected well with the students. Fucking hell, I sound like an X Factor judge. I loved that show. Idiot muggles that can't sing being humiliated there was no greater pleasure

"Welcome back to Hogwarts" began McGonagall. I put my head on my hand and began levitating my fork up and down. I looked at Billings who was watching McGonagall with admiration and clearly had her undivided attention. I looked down the table at my fellow Gryffindor and saw Nathan and his friends throwing fruit to eachother looking as bored as I did. When the speech ended I imagined food on my plate; but then remembered the sorting

I looked for little Daniel in the crowd of little midgets – I mean first years – I couldn't see him maybe he'd shown a bit of initiative for once and actually gotten a spot near the front of the crowd. How old was that hat? It had sorted my mum, dad, Gregg, grandparent's probobaly their grandparents. It looked tatty but healthy – if a hat can look healthy – and the sorting began once the hat finished it's ridiculous song about fear or fruit I don't know I wasn't listening. I had placed my fork on top of Billings head and she hadn't even realised

After a few irrelevant children that meant nothing to me were sorted finally a name that I

Recognized

And

Cared about

Was called. "Potter, James". Everyone began mumbling as the eldest child of the legendary Harry Potter took to the stool and placed the hat on his head grinning cheekily. "GRYFFINDOR" It yelled. Well, that was a given. Little James ran towards me giving me a hug. Being Teddy's best mate and with Teddy more or less being James's brother I had known James for a long time already

"Nice one mate" I said to James holding out my hand for him to high five. He did so. How polite

"Danny boy better be in Gryffindor" said James

"Yeah I agree" I said putting my hands on his shoulders. I looked round at the three first years that were sorted before James. Boring looking kids. One of them was asleep; it must be a long day for 11-year olds unless your names James Potter and you're never tired

Finally – "Swift, Daniel". Goofy little Daniel sort of fell onto the stool and placed the hat at a disjointed angle and it had to be put on properly by McGonagall. Out of embarrassment I looked around for Nathan and Lou who looked equally as embarrassed by Daniel as I felt. Danielle, Billy, Teddy and Lee also looked rather embarrassed as well. Jeez Daniel, you hadn't even got through the feast yet and you've already embarrassed me

"GRYFFINDOR" yelled the sorting hat. Daniel jumped off the stool tripping over his untied laces in the process and fell flat on his face. James and I picked him up and put him on the Gryffindor table. I loved the little git bless him I ruffled his hair out of pride. Four Swift children in the Gryffindor house. We were going to rule this house

"You're feeling better" Daniel commented as I dug into the food that appeared from no where

"Haven't eaten for 2 days" I answered ruffling my little brother's hair. I'd never felt so much pride in my life. Goofy little Daniel in Gryffindor. I had been planning on joining Danielle and my other friends but I was feeling very fond of Daniel and James right now

"I couldn't imagine not eating for 2 days" said James. He looked over my shoulder at Billings "OK, who is that she's giving me the creeps"

"That's only Billings" I said "She's got a bit of a crush on me" I whispered to James

"Never" he said sarcastically. Nathan and Lou came to sit opposite us each looking as proud as I felt. The embarrassment Daniel had caused had now been forgotten

"Well done little'un" said Nathan shaking Daniels hand. Lou kissed him on the forehead

"Yeah nice one little bro" she said grinning. The wierd thing was when at home we all absolutely hated eachother (Lou and I especially) but when at Hogwarts it was a case of 'Sibling survival' if I had a problem that Danielle couldn't solve I would then take it to Nathan or Lou and now I suppose I could take it to Daniel as well. When the meal ended Billings and I directed the first years to the common room

"Billings could you go at the back so we don't get any stragglers" I said. I didn't actually care if anyone went missing. On the first day of the first year Billy, Teddy, Lee and I separated ourselves from the group and it actually made it easier to find our way around. We knew every nook and cranny of the school; even the location of the Chamber of Secrets. I just didn't want to stand next to Billings

I walked at the front in a conversation with James and Daniel telling them the dos and don'ts of Hogwarts. The list included do not: Turn up late for McGonagall as she will go ape shit, Do not comment of the size of Professor Fliwtick, Do not tell the houselves they are independent creatures as they take offence and do not under any circumstances engage in a conversation with Argus Filch. Very bitter that one. Also keeping Peeves on side isn't a half bad idea

We arrived at the Fat Lady where my first problem arose; the password. "BILLING" I yelled. "WHAT" she yelled back. "WHAT'S THE PASSWORD" I bellowed back at her. She made her way through the first years and whispered it in my ear and I was fairly shore that she sniffed me as well. "Fillies Flint" I said and the Fat Lady swung open. I looked around the Gryffindor common room. It was good to be back


End file.
